Saturday, April 20, 2024
Fair, 89°Wind: 16.1 mph, S
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"As long as you've got good elimination, you've got it made." – Uncle Leonard
"If a man can't drive in a bar ditch, he's got no business on the highway." – Tink
"When asked how she got to be president, Anita replied, 'I missed the meeting'." – Chuck
"You can't used too much tape." – Dr. Allen
"I enjoy all company. Some when they arrive, some when they leave." – Tom Hall
"A true friend will tell you if yer hat's on backwards." Calvin
"I'd rather be at the head of the ditch with a shovel than at the bottom with a decree." – Tom on irrigation rights
"If they won't come, you can't stop 'em." – Jim B.
"He's stooping to new heights." – Sandy
"His eyes are so squinty they could blindfold him with dental floss." – Buck
"They teach chickens to lay eggs by walkin' back n' forth in front of them with a hatchet humming, 'Um, um, good, um, um, good...'" – Doug
"The right to be heard does not include the right to be taken seriously." – Hubert H.
"If you wanna put out a fire, start yer own!" – Hoot
"Cowboys walk in parts." – Peter
"You have to know Mr. Dewey well in order to dislike him." – Margaret T.
"Bank examiners come in after the battle and shoot the wounded." Boyd
"Horse shoein's not so hard. It's just the dread of doing it." – Carl
"His sleeping bag smelled like they drove geese into it and beat them to death." – Oly K.
"You are what you eat"... but I say, "You are where you walk." – Jasper
"It's been a month of Mondays!" – Sheryl
"I don't deserve this award, but I've got sinus, and I don't deserve that either." – Ace R.
"Sometimes you have no choice, so take it!" – Daniel
On fund-raising, "Don't put all your hands in one pocket." – Grant
"If yer smart you'll always believe in Santa Claus." – Judy
"Sure, you can sell out when things are good. But then what will you do?” – John
“Of course, your waffle is tough. You ate the potholder.” – Joseph
Baxter Black is a cowboy poet, former large-animal veterinarian and entertainer of the agricultural masses. Learn more at www.baxterblack.com.
