Domestic violence is a community issue, says long-time local advocate, national award winner

“One of the things we need to understand, domestic violence is a community issue,” said Pat Acosta, support services director for La Casa, Inc. domestic violence program, where she oversees the offenders’ program, legal/immigration services, children’s services, community education and awareness and La Casa’s satellite office in Anthony, N.M.

She’s also a survivor of domestic violence and has won a national award for her advocacy on behalf of other victims.

Changing the narrative about domestic violence, Acosta said, “takes a community, a vision, a philosophy.”

“I’ve been doing this work for 34 years. I’ve seen women, men and children get killed,” she said. Successful intervention includes working not only with victims but also with abusers, law enforcement, the courts and the public, Acosta said.

“La Casa cannot start to dent anything in domestic violence unless we work with the district attorney’s office and the courts,” she said. “We have to get better as a state. We need to start getting involved with voting and legislation, pointing out what’s not working, how to get better. We need to treat domestic violence like COVID. It is fatal.”

While holding offenders accountable for their actions is essential, Acosta said, incarceration, especially on the first offense, is not the solution.

“Jail is not going to change these men, these women,” Acosta said. “With domestic violence, they’re a very special type of offender, and they need a specialized intervention.”

She said appropriate intervention may include help dealing with mental health issues, substance abuse, income and employment, infidelity and more. State COVID-19-related public health stay-at-home orders have also increased domestic violence, Acosta said.

“All of these come with factors of honesty,” she said. “Some of these guys (most abusers are men) don’t know how to communicate. They don’t understand the importance of growing up in the relationship.”

And if the offender doesn’t recognize he’s got a problem, rehabilitation efforts don’t work, Acosta said. “Get him to understand that his behavior is unacceptable.”

Acosta reminds the men she counsels at La Casa that their victims “are the women you love, raising your children. Don’t tell me you didn’t know what you were doing. Oh, yes, you did.”

And the spouse or significant other often isn’t the only victim when domestic violence occurs, she said. Children may not suffer physical abuse, but they see what is happening between their parents. “It only takes one incident that can traumatize them,” Acosta said. Pets also can be victims.

“Witnessing violence in the home is the strongest risk factor for transmitting violent behavior from one generation to the next,” according to the La Casa website.

“I know what it is to be stabbed, to have your teeth broken,” said Acosta, who was raised by a single mother and raised four daughters on her own.

Acosta was born in El Paso. She spent the first 12 years of her life in Cuidad Juarez before her family returned to El Paso. Acosta has a bachelor’s degree in social work from New Mexico State University and certifications in public housing, parenting and teaching curriculums of intimate partner violence. Acosta was one of 16 recipients from among 3,800 nominated to receive the President’s Service Award in 1997.

Before coming to La Casa, Acosta oversaw Jewish Family Services emergency and transitional housing and domestic violence programs, worked in adult protective services in Los Angeles and served as the bilingual batterer’s intervention instructor for at the Valley Family Center in San Fernando California. She has also worked in the El Paso State Center for Mental Health and Mental Retardation and with El Paso Community College, YWCA, El Paso Housing Authority and the City of El Paso Community Development SAFE 2000. Acosta also worked as program director for the El Paso Shelter for Battered Women (Center Against Sexual and Family Violence), where she continues to serve as a volunteer.