A big brother finds lessons of his own in mentoring relationship

Fernando Baeza was 18 when he left Deming, determined to find a different direction for his life. He had watched older students make decisions that led them down paths he didn't want to follow. Without the kind of guidance he now realizes might have helped him, Baeza decided he would have to make the change himself.

He moved to Las Cruces, enrolled in online school and began building a future that eventually led him into architecture. A few years later, as a college student looking for a way to give something back to his community, he discovered Big Brothers Big Sisters.

That's how he met Leo Sanchez, then a 7-year-old second-grader whose mother had enrolled him in the mentoring program.

Years later, Sanchez is a sophomore at Centennial High School, and the two are still learning from each other. Baeza remembers the uncertainty of his own teenage years and made the decision to leave home as soon as he turned 18. That experience helped shape what he hoped to offer a young person when he signed up to become a Big Brother at about age 22.

He wasn't sure exactly what to expect. As a college student, he didn't have much money to contribute to charitable causes, but he had time and experiences he could share. Big Brothers Big Sisters matched him with Sanchez after an extensive screening and interview process. Their first meeting took place with Sanchez's mother at the organization's former downtown office.

Their friendship developed through conversations, hiking, food, video games and shared experiences.

Sanchez, who enjoys anime, has introduced Baeza to some of his favorite shows, including "One Piece." The two can spend an hour discussing the characters and stories but some of their most important conversations have little to do with entertainment.

Baeza talks with Sanchez about school, responsibility, relationships and the importance of understanding people whose perspectives might be different from his own.

He doesn't sit down and do Sanchez's homework with him. Instead, when Sanchez encounters difficulties at school, they discuss the choices available to him and how those decisions might affect his future. The relationship has become a source of encouragement as Sanchez navigates high school.

"I really do learn a lot from him," Sanchez said. "It helps me a lot. It gives me a better understanding of the type of stuff I have to do."

Baeza has also watched Sanchez become more comfortable interacting with other people. When they first met, speaking in public settings wasn't easy for the young boy. That confidence has grown considerably.

The two can go extended periods without seeing each other, Baeza said, but when they reunite, their conversations pick up as though no time has passed.

Their relationship is one example of the one-to-one mentoring that Big Brothers Big Sisters has provided in Las Cruces for approximately 37 years. The organization serves more than 113 young people locally, connecting them with volunteers who offer friendship, encouragement and experiences beyond their everyday routines.

Mentoring has turned out to be much more than an opportunity for Baeza to share the lessons he learned growing up. His early independence taught him discipline and responsibility. But spending time with Sanchez has reminded him of something else he nearly left behind.

"I think I forgot that there's fun in life as well," he said.

He believes adults sometimes become so focused on their responsibilities that they lose the curiosity and enjoyment they experienced as children. Sanchez has helped him rediscover some of that.

"He thinks he learns more from me, but I tell him all the time I'm learning a lot from you," Baeza said.

It's a perspective he hopes other potential volunteers will consider. Mentoring, he said, isn't simply about helping someone else. It can change the mentor, too. Once he was a young man looking for his own direction, but now he’s helping someone else discover his. It’s an opportunity for Baeza to continue his own growth curve.