Enjoy your buffalo wings; you're not eating flying buffalo meat

Some things are not what they appear or say they are. We find that golf has an abundance of contradictions, ironies, misnomers, myths, strange comparisons and sayings.

For example, there aren’t any “sand traps” as such, only grass and sand bunkers and penalties areas. Consider this odd irony: if you want to loft the ball high in the air you must contact the ball first with a downward blow, making the divot after the strike. Hit down to get the ball up. It’s true, but it seems like a contradiction.

Another common saying is “when it’s breezy swing easy.”  In truth, most recreational golfers try to swing way too hard when hitting into a stiff wind, finding their wild swing causes their ball to go in some wild directions. The swing thought should be to swing under control.

Another myth a lot of golfers believe is that “knockoff” clubs are just as good as the real thing. They aren’t - they’re fake! Would you buy fake medication for your children to save a few bucks? Would you buy a fake computer for your business? Don’t get fooled.

If you play serious golf you need to know the rules and the terms. Let’s say your opponent in a money game calls out “press.” He’s not saying he’s now going to just try harder. He means the bet is now doubled!

And be careful about getting into a game with a fellow you don’t know who offers, “Wanna play for a few bucks?” If he has a one-iron in his bag and has a deep tan decline the offer.

Some golfers might think that “don’t hit it in the water” is a good swing thought to keep the ball out of the pond. At warp speed the brain doesn’t differentiate between “do” and “don’t.” You just prearranged for your ball to do what you didn’t want. That’s why you often hear that same golfer whine, after rinsing his ball, “that’s exactly what I didn’t want to do!’

While we’re on the brain, golfers who think “the more swing thoughts the better” are fooling themselves. They are trying to make their bodies do the impossible, which is expecting muscles, bones and nerves to match a contortionist, all in a nanosecond.

Swing thoughts are not intended to be like a pilot at the controls of a jet plane with a checklist to go down item by item.  If you must have one swing thought, make it only one. Better to put your brain on hold as you make the swing.

Golf architects design some holes to purposely fool unsuspecting golfers. They position fairway bunkers in spots that look closer than they really are, enticing players to try to fly over them, only to find they are an optical illusion with the proximity.

Tall trees have the same dangers. And greens are the golf designers’ specialty in creating illusions. A “redan” green is one that is long and narrow and angles away from the center, with most angled to the long left. To the golfer in the fairway, the green may look straight forward, but it plays far from straight. Things are not what they appear.

Also, another thing that is advertised to be what it is not is gambling on pro sports. I have long objected to the PGA Tour promoting online and onsite gambling by the general public on tour events and players. The ads say “It’s another way to win,” but in fact it’s another way to be a loser. Now, with the news breaking about players and coaches in the NBA allegedly involved in illicit gambling, and even involving the mafia, it further taints betting on pro sports.

Incidentally, buffalo wings have their origin at the Anchor Bar in Buffalo, New York in 1964, when owner Teressa Bellissimo needed a late-night snack for surprise guests. At the time, chicken wings were seen as undesirable and normally thrown away. So, she came up with the idea of deep-frying chicken wings and tossing them in spicy cayenne hot sauce.

The rest is history.