New grief center looking for a location

A new grief center is forming to provide grief support for youth and families.

And for Melissa Murphy, the founder and executive director, grief is a journey she already knows herself firsthand.

Murphy’s mother died when she was 12 after a four-year battle with ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease. Murphy said an older sister enrolled them into a grief support center in Michigan, where they were living at the time.

“It was helpful to be around other kids experiencing the same thing,” she said.

Murphy said another benefit is to talk to peers who are further along on their grief journey so “they can see what life is like after loss.”

Vicky Lucero, who is vice president of the newly formed board for the nonprofit, told the Bulletin that, for her, supporting a new grief center is also connected to what she has experienced.

“I personally raised two children whose parents died of cancer,” Lucero said. “I grew up in a family that did emergency foster care. I’ve been around it my entire life.”

Lucero said having a place where youth and families can gather to talk about their grief is important.

“It’s extremely important for children to have a place to talk about this. Unfortunately, sometimes parents put a stigma on counseling. It makes it very difficult for children to voice what they’re feeling and talk about it and deal with it. It’s a very heavy thing for children to go through on their own,” Lucero said.

The new organization, Desert Blooms Grief Center, has acquired 501c3 status but is still searching for a home base. Murphy said she hopes to have the operation up and running by next spring.

She said there will be peer grief support groups arranged by appropriate ages and the groups will meet on a weekly basis and led by a trained volunteer facilitator. The center will operate in Las Cruces but will be open to anyone experiencing grief in Doña Ana County and the surrounding areas, Murphy said.

Murphy is a certified grief educator. She said the volunteer facilitators will be trained by a certified counselor or social worker.

Murphy said a grief center, which will be free to the public, is needed in Las Cruces because according to a study, New Mexico is “number one in the nation for childhood bereavement.”

“One out of seven children lose a parent or sibling by age 18,” she said.

Murphy said that unprocessed grief in children can lead to a host of side effects. That can be mental illness, digestive issues, withdrawal, headaches or nightmares.

“Specifically, children, teens process loss differently than adults. For children and teens, the two main issues is that it’s all too overwhelming to process adequately or they are not cognitively mature enough to understand the concept of death,” she said.

Murphy said the consequences of unaddressed grief for youth, without proper support and intervention, can be functional impairment as adults. That could mean education under attainment, self-esteem issues or relationship issues.

“Many say just deal with it. If not processed appropriately, it can be bottled up. There are definitely consequences to that,” Murphy said.

For more information, go to desertbloomsgriefcenter.org.

This story was updated on Friday, August 15.