On being overwhelmed

I struggled to decide on a topic to write about this week. So many competing stories and opinions have left me feeling like an island in a storm.

I tend to push the boundaries. When I am fishing, I don’t want to quit (even if the fish aren’t biting). When I am overstimulated, I don’t pause. When I am frustrated, I push harder. When I am overwhelmed, I take on more projects to distract from those that I should be finishing, but don’t want to.

That is the world we live in. Too many commitments, too many responsibilities and too many opinions. And not just opinions, but rather “I’m gonna die on this hill!” opinions. Black and white opinions. Non-negotiable opinions.

I feel that society as a whole used to be able to debate and compromise, learn from one another and litigate respectfully. But anymore, our minds are made up and there’s no changing them. We can’t all be right all the time, but we feel that we are. Is it ego? Is it survival instinct? I don’t know, but it isn’t healthy.

This comes into stark relief given the significance of this year’s Fourth of July celebrations. Two-hundred-fifty years of the United States of America. Did our forefathers demand their opinion become law and storm out of the Declaration signing, pouting if they didn’t get their way? Of course not.

Our country was built on the ability to respectfully disagree, learn from mistakes but also to stand up for what you believe in. Today, those that play by these rules are trampled by those who only see the last part and are unwilling to give grace to others who may disagree with them.

Thus, I am overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by the weight of trying to provide a voice to issues that have been ignored or, worse, ground down by louder, angrier dissenting voices. Others in the community have expressed their concern to me about speaking out about issues in a public forum, given the temperature in most rooms these days.

The elephant – the threat of violence. Angry words lead to angry actions, compounded by the perception that actions don’t have consequences. It is profoundly apparent on social media, especially given the new Facebook rules that allow anonymous posts. You can say anything to anyone, without consequence.

How long before those lines are blurred in the real world, especially in New Mexico where accountability lacks? Especially in a society that is way too angry right now? We should disagree, but we should also be able to disagree. Those two things are no longer mutually inclusive.

So, I will implore us all to consider the other side of the argument. How did the person arrive at their opposite opinion? Is there mutual ground to build a constructive conversation on? What issues can be fixed by compromise? What can we learn from one another?

Obstinance is a choice – the wrong one.

Shawna Pfeiffer is a life-long Dona Ana County Resident, graduate of NMSU, small business owner, hobby farmer, dog-lover, outdoor enthusiast and mother to two young children. She can be reached at srpfeiffer1@gmail.com.