The sister she never had

Growing up with four older brothers, Analia Cruz knew plenty about being someone's little sister. What she didn't know was what it would be like to have a big sister of her own.

Vanessa Alfonso grew up in a family with four sisters. When a college assignment introduced her to Big Brothers Big Sisters, she decided to become a volunteer.

The two were matched in 2017, beginning a relationship that has grown from childhood outings and occasional guidance into something much closer to the sisterhood Analia had hoped to experience. Today, Analia is a high school senior preparing for college, while Vanessa is a second-grade teacher and the mother of a young son. Their lives have changed considerably over the past nine years, but the connection between them has only grown stronger.

"Now we talk more," Analia said, explaining that their relationship initially felt somewhat like having another parent looking after her. "Now it's much more sister-like."

The opportunity came to Analia almost by accident. Her mother learned about Big Brothers Big Sisters while looking into the program for a friend's son. She thought her daughter might enjoy having another female influence in her life.

Analia was immediately interested. With four brothers, all older than she was, she had never experienced the particular relationship sisters can share. She was curious about what it might be like.

Vanessa's introduction was equally unexpected. Originally from California, she moved to New Mexico with her family after her father was stationed at Fort Bliss. She eventually enrolled at New Mexico State University to study education.

A college assignment required her to research a community organization. She selected Big Brothers Big Sisters and liked what she discovered enough to sign up.

The organization matches adult volunteers with young people, providing opportunities for friendship, shared activities and guidance. The relationships are intended to add another supportive adult to a child's life, not replace parents or other family members.

The connection between Vanessa and Analia developed through experiences both ordinary and unusual.

When Analia was younger, they visited parks, went to batting cages and attended her softball games. Analia had been playing softball since she was 4, and Vanessa became another familiar face cheering her on.

One particularly memorable experience came when Big Brothers Big Sisters organized a fashion show for its participants. The two visited Dillard's to select outfits, but their eventual appearance reflected Analia's ambition at the time: becoming a softball player.

They wore customized El Paso Chihuahuas jerseys bearing their last names. Vanessa still remembers the experience of participating in the show rather than simply watching from the audience. Analia has another favorite memory: going roller skating together for the first time.

As Analia grew older, their activities changed. These days, they're more likely to go shopping, see a movie or share a meal while catching up on their lives. They generally get together once or twice a month, giving them plenty to talk about between visits.

Vanessa has watched Analia mature from a young girl who sometimes needed encouragement to speak up for herself into a teenager preparing to make important decisions about her future. Analia, in turn, has watched Vanessa become a teacher and a mother.

Vanessa's son, Sebastian, sometimes joins their outings. During a recent meal, he was initially shy around Analia, but soon the two were playing together and looking at a fish tank. It's another small way their relationship has come to resemble an extended family.

"I do enjoy our relationship a lot and how much it's grown since we were both so young," Vanessa said. "Just seeing how we've grown together is a really awesome thing to see."

The conversations have become more consequential as Analia approaches graduation. She plans to attend NMSU and is interested in studying radiology, although she wants to explore other possibilities within the medical field before settling on a career.

Vanessa, who attended NMSU herself, has been sharing what she learned about college, including scholarships, financial aid and the opportunities available to New Mexico students. Analia knows her Big Sister is part of her network.

"Well, I know I have someone that will support me, and I know I can always ask her for advice," she said.

Vanessa expects their friendship to continue after Analia graduates, even as college, work and family responsibilities change how frequently they see each other. She doesn't consider their time together an obligation.

"At this point, this is just my sister now," Vanessa said. "This is truly something I do because I have fun doing it, hanging out with her."

Analia has even considered becoming a Big Sister herself someday. Having experienced the difference Vanessa has made in her life, she would like to offer another young person something similar. A girl who once wondered what having a sister might be like found that the experience has provided an answer she hopes others will discover.

Asked what she would tell someone considering Big Brothers Big Sisters, Analia didn't hesitate.

"Go for it, because you never know when you can find your sibling, basically."